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Sisters' StoriesSister Dolores Stevens, CSJ (Sister Margaret Philomena)
As a sixth grader, I was encouraged to pray for guidance, so I would have a jump start in deciding what I wanted to do with my life after high school. Each evening I prayed faithfully: “Dear God, help me to know what you want me to do with my life. I’ll do anything you want, but I don’t want to be a nun. Amen.” Yes, even then I sensed a call to religious life. I resisted it.
High school was typical: work: dances, school, dating, questioning. That innate desire for God and ministry haunted me. Something was missing from life. I wanted more. One day as I was leaving school, my senior teacher approached me and asked if I had ever considered becoming a sister. I burst out crying and said “yes.” Sister gave me some literature and asked that I talk with a priest. Since I had an aunt who was a sister, I also talked with her. I felt a “high,” but I was fearful. I told Father I wanted to save my soul and help other people. “Save my soul,” sounds harsh. A better way of saying it would be I wanted an intimate relationship with God.
Actually, deciding was like being tossed about in a storm. There was fear and anxiety about leaving home. My brothers and sisters were much younger; I knew how much I would miss them. There was another question: Did I want to deprive myself of the joys of being a wife and mother?
I prayed for guidance and shared my feelings with family and friends. My father was disappointed, but I was encouraged by the others. I went to a reception and profession ceremony of the Sisters of St. Joseph. I was inspired by their desire to give themselves totally. I too had that desire; I wanted the freedom to be available for God’s people. Religious life provided that freedom. I knew I had to take the risk of saying “yes.” Once that happened, I had great peace.
During my religious life I have enjoyed being a teacher, administrator, pastoral associate, diocesan director of religious education and chaplain in a hospital. The rewarding part of these ministries has been the relationships I have enjoyed with parents, students, catechists, teachers and patients. I have been able to challenge, to encourage and to be compassionate. I believe that God is within each one of us.
Who am I? What am I looking for? Is there something more? These are burning questions. Ultimately God continues to remain a mystery: faithful friend, lover, guide, listener, healer. The challenge continues. “Will you follow me, even in darkness? Even when you don’t know where I will lead you?” Come and see!
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